It would seem we Floridians have entirely too much time on our hands. Now, that Governor Ron “The Weasel” DeSantis has returned to our wonderful state to attempt to perform the task of “governor,” it’s like the entire state has gone off its meds. Now, this report couldn’t be complete without an accounting of one of the great scourges of our time, gas powered leaf blowers.
According to the Orlando Sentinel, residents of Winter Park, Florida took the City Commission chamber Thursday to voice their displeasure about gas-powered leaf blowers. The tools are are generally used by landscapers with great consideration so as to wake everyone up at the exact same time of 6:45 AM without fail. As a result, the tools have received a great deal of scorn for reasons unknown. Major cities such as Philadelphia, Boston and even, yes, Cleveland, have considered bans. California Governor Gavin Newsom, in an act of political astuteness unseen since the last time Donald Trump huffed in a courtroom, announced he would sign an outright ban on the tools to take effect in 2024. Landscaping professionals, aware of the potential impact on their business, flipped Newsom a collective middle finger when asked about the proposition. Winter Park residents, however, showed out for the commission’s meeting about this item but, in a shocking move reminiscent of the heady days of last years Congressional Session, opted to punt on fourth down and table the motion.
KEEP IT DOWN, WILL YA?
As a Keys resident, I can completely relate to the desire to keep noise to a minimum. We live in paradise, after all, so it would be awful for crazy tourists to drive all over the place on noisy golf carts hooting and hollering, hanging out the sides cheering at people and holding their beer. Now, this is the just the activist in me, but I truly think there should be a “drinking while golf carting” statute which goes over and above the standard DUI. Offenders should, as community service, have to drive up and down US 1 helping stranded motorists with flat tires, no matter how much they may look like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.
Credit – Keys Weekly
That, however, is not the only issue we have in the Keys with noise. Recently, the New England division of the snowbird brigades arrived on our lovely islands and began kvetching to our elected officials about, among other things, bar noise on Duval. Now, I would love to bring these folks into a conference room and ask if they had done some recon on Key West because, had they done so, they would have realized that Duval St on just about any night has more drunk, stoned, and horny people than your garden variety frat party. Nonetheless, they heard complaints this month from concerned citizens, but that’s not all.
FREE SPEECH UNDER ASSAULT?
One of the interesting charms to our little island (Orlando has this feature too near its tourist district), is the proliferation of novelty shirt and souvenir stores. Most of these stores are owned by the same companies which own similar stores in tourist town around America. They display controversial apparel, often in T-shirt form, spouting everything from profane statements about politicians, to suggestive imagines about both women and men’s bodies (hey, progress!)
However, the City Commission doesn’t see it that way. As of January 18, businesses displaying “offensive” materials in their front windows must move them into their stores out of sight of the street, according to Keys Weekly. This, sadly, will make life much more difficult for free speech advocates looking for a t-shirt with that classic patriotic American saying “eat a bag of dicks.”
Government officials insist that a compromise can be reached on the noise ordinance. Many musicians, who feel they are being targeted by the ordinance, have volunteered to be on a local board to discuss options. One business owner went so far as to invoke baseball, stating that when a home run gets hit “everyone goes nuts.” That person did not identify if any of the fans wore Athletics baseball gear.
So there you have it, some stuff which happened in Florida and in our backyard this week. Also, if you decide to visit Winter Park, you may want to take a water test kit, a filter pitcher, and some Iodide tablets. No reason, just a precaution.
John E Guzzardo - Writer, Author, Blogger 
The leaf blowers are annoying. But stick to a specific time when you can make noise with said tools. Problem solved. The rest should not be up for debate. I’ve never been to your neck of the woods or island, I should say, but I’ve heard through written word as you stated Paradise. So if the birds don’t like it, stay in the snow. Florida does have too much time on their hands and definitely gone off their meds. DeSantis is the ring leader. People complain entirely too much over inconsequential stuff.
So on point. Thank you