Revenge of the Sugar Free Devil Bears

When I thought it was all done, was I mistaken! That was just round one. Round two featured an explosive blast reminiscent of a fecal-loaded fire hydrant being opened to relieve pressure. I could feel my commode absorbing the foul smelling debris, dutiful porcelain soldier it was, but I was quite Impressed that I didn’t actually levitate due to immense pressure which built up over the intervening minutes. My abdomen felt as though it were a SpaceX rocket getting ready for liftoff, and all that was missing was someone to light the various noxious gasses leaking from my buttocks to create the “rocket’s red glare.” This phase lasted, based on the fact I was able to listen to an entire episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks, 25 minutes.

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Please help us stay in our home … a Go Fund Me fundraiser to help avoid eviction

We are facing a massive rent shortfall and while we are working to bridge the gap, a combination of problems have left us in a precarious position. Please consider helping by clicking the link below. gofund.me/533565a7

To all my readers….

This post has been a long time coming, though I wish it wasn’t. As you may have noticed my posting has dwindled down to nothing. I’ve had a very difficult time trying to find things to write about. All the anger, hate and violence in this world, combined with a leader halfway around the world…

featured / Year in Review

Bon Voyage 2021 – and don’t come back!

The year 2021 began like any other year, if any other year started out with witnessing a genuine coup nearly happening in Washington, DC because of a petulant loser jackass refusing to concede defeat. Between Former President Donald “DON’T CALL ME FORMER!” Trump and his Reverse Roundtable of Stooges, America’s 2021 started off as surreal…

Christmas / Oviedo

High on candle fumes and my tractor’s green, Merry Clucking Christmas!

Here in beautiful Oviedo, Florida, we pride ourselves in the ability to find community pride in the most unlikely ways. This week, our illustrious drivers managed to show enormous patience with a rather unlikely, but quite “Oviedo” traffic issue – a riding mower parked in the middle of a busy intersection. According to a reliable…

Dashing through the SEO, in my one Squid Open Game

Deep into this holiday season, we are facing the throngs, hordes and other horrifying English words for scads of crazed shoppers in the stores. COVID-19 is considered relatively under control or a complete government conspiracy, depending on who is doing the gabbing. But we bloggers keep on writing, blogging, pot stirring…yeah you get the drift.…

Solo: a tuxedo Jedi, now one with the Force

Much has happened over the last few weeks which has prevented me from posting. Sadly, one of those things has been the loss of another furry family member, Solo We found him in Winter Springs, Florida in 2019 while driving by a parking lot. He was a little tuxedo kitten looking for attention and seemed…

Merry Christmas to all and to all a fun playlist

The holiday season is upon us and, since everyone is aware of diversity and different cultures, it’s time for us to recognize one of the greatest traditions of our culture: holiday music. We will, as holiday shoppers, be subjected to at least 5,000 renditions of different holiday classics, with artists ranging from Bing Crosby to…

Flipping this news cycle the BIG bird

It’s been difficult to come up with something to write about, so I planned on doing the most common thing writers do – sacrificing a live chicken at sunrise as a full moon was setting. However, I live in Oviedo, Florida – a city best known for the answer to the question “Where’s Waldo,” as…

Humor is my identity

As I go back and look at this blog, I found myself writing about several subjects, taking the attitude of a bona fide know-it-all, when the reality is I barely know anything. This isn’t a matter of feeling sorry for myself, but an acknowledgement of self. It’s easy to be a know-it-all, but it’s far,…

Keep the Rays in Tampa Bay

Rays Owner Stu Sternberg plans to roll out signage during the MLB playoffs at Tropicana Field to sell the Rays split time with Montreal. As a longtime Rays fans, I feel the spirit of Lightning superstar Nikita Kucherov in saying that’s “#1 Bullshit.” So I share this artwork I designed in the hopes that it…

Florida Life – Sea Turtle Nests

A farewell to our trusted friend and companion, Bentley

We fell in love with him on the spot. That first night at home, before we even named him, he was causing trouble. As I stood to get myself a drink, the little fuzzball wiggled his tush, coiled up, and jumped onto my back. What appeared to be the ultimate display of cuteness as his little milk teeth made hay of my shirt felt, at least to me, like several dozen tiny hypodermic daggers embedded into my claws. Side note: I realized at that moment I could never get a tattoo on my shoulder.

The Penguin, the Q, and the SpaceX ka-boom

Those of you who read this blog know I’m into the esoteric and off-the-wall, but nothing has been quite as “out there” as the QAnon “prophecy” of former President Donald Trump’s “return” to the “White House” on March 4 as part of the so-called “storm,” when it was expected he would triumphantly enter the Oval…

Fun Fact: I was a graphic artist once upon a time

One of the interesting tidbits about myself is that I was once a graphic artist. I got out of the business for several reasons, not least of which being that most small print shops treat Graphic Artists with great disrespect and freelancing, at least for me, has been a dismal failure. These newspaper layouts, based…